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I'm just Rae. I don't really care what anyone else thinks of me. After all, I was born into this world for a reason, and although I'm still trying to figure out that reason, I am here to live MY life. I don't exist to please others. I love my family, and the few friends that I have. They mean the world to me. Another tremendous part of my life is music. I know for a fact that I couldn't function without it. The things I've been through are real. Fuck fake. The decisions I make are made by MYSELF. No one else. My thoughts and feelings are real. I try to be as honest as I can be. I do lie sometimes. But who doesn't? I'm a shy and awkward person, but when you get to know me, you will see who I really am. Crazy. Weird. Misunderstood. A freak. I don't trust a lot of people, so when I do trust you, don't take advantage of it. Trust is a valuable thing. If you want to talk to me or ask questions or even seek advice, I will do my best to respond. I try my best to help people. I'm just a teenager trying to find herself. Lost. I'm a loyal and honest person if you are the same to me. I will not under any circumstance judge anyone else, unless they give me a reason to. I consider myself a very trustworthy, nice, and open-minded person. But if you mess with the people that I care about, we'll have a problem. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I try my best. I can't help myself, so I want to help others. I want to be in a band when I am older. I also would love to act and write. Possibly direct and go into photography. I'm still trying to figure out my future. Growing up is a scary thing. Open Your Mind Before Your Mouth~ |
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Notes(Source: ttimeturner, via janebuzjane)
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(via c0nfessi0nsandsecrets)
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(via thaisiensen)
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Not good enough.
No matter what I do, it’s never enough. I never say the right things or do the right things. I regret almost everything I do, and even some of the things that I don’t do because I’m an awkward fuck and am too shy around almost anybody who are not my close friends. If I do something, someone can do it better. Someone always says something better, or does something better than me. Someone is always smarter, and I’m the dumb fuck. The stupid one. Someone is always prettier, skinnier, has something that I have always wanted. Someone is a better daughter and sister and friend. If I think I sing good, someone will come along and sing a thousand times better than me. Like my best friend. Someone always sings better than me, screams better than me. I’m boring, and someone else is always entertaining and fun. I fail at the only thing in life that I can control right now because I’m weak and stupid. And for that I hate myself. I feel insecure all the time. I’m surrounded by prettier people everywhere I go. I think I look decent, and then I go around my friends and other people and regret the way I look. Someone is always more creative than me, comes up with better ideas that are really good, that I would never think about. Someone’s life is always more interesting. Someone always has something better than me. I feel like people do things to prove that I’m not good enough, to make me jealous or something? And they are better. I can’t picture anyone loving me, because I’m not good enough. Everyone will always be better than me. Everyone will always do everything better than me. I’ll never fit in anywhere. I want to be better than I am right now, a whole new person, but still.. myself? I wish for once.. I could feel good enough, and feel like I’m saying and doing the right things. I know I can’t be perfect, because life didn’t come with a set of instructions.
And.. I’m not trying to complain about my life. Because I know it could be so much fucking worse. I just feel incredibly down and insecure right now. I’ve felt this way almost all day, and I don’t know why. But, this is just how I am feeling right now, and I needed to get it out.
One day, I will be good enough. But I have a feeling that won’t be for a long time.
Gah..
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Notes my childhood.Drake: You calling me a liar?!
Josh: I ain’t calling you a truther!
Josh: You want a mouth full of fist?!
Drake: You want a butt full of foot?!
Josh: I hope you go bald!
Drake: I hope they cancel Oprah!
Josh: *GASP* You take that back!(Source: giraffessippingtea)
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(Source: music-fills-the-darkness, via stitchedbutstillbleeding)
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